Pirates of the Indian Ocean: Timely Article in Vanity Fair

Since newspapers are either dying (The San Francisco Chronicle) or incredibly slanted (The New York Times and now a rival slant from Rupert Murdoch's Wall Street Journal), and, since no one on television is doing any known form of journalism, (Rachel Maddow? Arrogant, poorly-informed young person of indeterminate gender: Keith Olbermann? Former sportsperson seriously stuck on his own opinions: Lou Dobbs? Mr. Xenophobic-Man-of-the-People. I could go on but why suffer further?) I've been consistently impressed with the high level of reportage in the monthly magazine,Vanity Fair. At least here, one can find well-written, in-depth stories from around the world.

And talk about timely: the April issue features a fascinating and (curiously enough) funny story called "The Pirate Latitudes" in which writer William Langewiesche tells the story of the fancy (is there any other kind?) French cruise ship Le Ponant and its seven days in the hands of Somali pirates a year ago.

The adventure ended well for the French, who now claim to have freed the captives with a commando raid (un peu exaggeration), but who really paid a multi-million dollar ransom (those French!). Following the hostage exchange, a chic Frenchwoman military helicopter pilot sat down to a nice dejuné and then got up in time to scramble her chopper and blow up the pirates' truck on Somali soil, capturing a few of the bad guys for trial in France. (Voilà! Imbeciles!)

With the pirate drama playing out this weekend off the Horn of Africa, with an America captain as hostage, the Vanity Fair article makes informative reading. The khat-chewing pirates (khat is a vegetable form of speed) appear to have their own code of honor, though it is clear throughout the story that one wrong move can turn any modern pirate drama toward serious danger.

Instead, in the case of the Ponant, the handsome and incredibly well-dressed (but of course!) French captain, Patrick Marchesseau, kept his head and helped lead his crew (there were no passengers on board) safely through their seven-day ordeal. The funny part, catalogued by writer Langewiesche, is that the crew kept up its morale by carefully maintaining Gallic culinary standards, eating appropriate sauces and complimentary wine pairings with each languid meal, as the gun-toting pirates looked on. To quote Langewiesche:

"On the first night out, a Sunday, they enjoyed an exquisite dinner of freshly caught bonito. We know about the food because Marchesseau later published a book in France recounting the ship's ordeal, and, as a Frenchman writing for the French, he kept he readers closely informed on matters of cuisine." [For example on the night before the pirates overtook the ship] "Out in the Ponant's aft, open-air restaurant, they had a light salad accompanied by delicately grilled meats, subtly spiced with herbs from Provence." [And later] "The lunch was a delightful meal of salad, potatoes and grilled meats accompanied by a light wine ... "

One question the article does not answer is one that has puzzled me for some time: what criminal organization is behind the pirates? They must have funding and organization: Somalis who don't have enough to eat, and can't afford shoes, don't just suddenly obtain fully-equipped Zodiac speed boats and expensive automatic weapons. Multi-million dollars ransoms can't all be paid in cash, can they be? Someone somewhere must have a bank account full of these illegally-gotten gains and some criminal organization involved must be known to some law enforcement person somewhere in the world.

In the case of the Ponant, the French were thrilled because they captured some of the pirates and took them to France for trial. Quelle punishment! If I lived in a war-torn, poverty-stricken country with no government, even France--even a French jail--would look good to me, so I can't imagine that this form of punishment will act as much of a deterrent. (Please, monsieur, arrest me and take me to Pairee!)

Finding the source of the criminal organization(s) behind the piracy would be a good start at ending this troublesome, highly dangerous, very expensive form of international extortion.

Zero tolerance, and sharpshooters with sniper rifles are my next recommendations. Insurance companies who are paying out these ransoms should be prevented from doing so under international law, and the law should be enforced. (I know, I know, the U.N. isn't exactly capable of this, but someone must be. Anyone?) The only thing less of a deterrent than trials in Paris and French jails serving pomme de terre soufflé would be trials in the United States with jails serving Big Macs and pepperoni pies from Pizza Hut. And I guess, under the current administration, Guantanamo Bay is out, drat it all. Otherwise I'd say put 'em there and then abandon the place and let Castro invade it. There's a deterrant I'd like to see.



FYI: the May issues of Vanity Fair is already out (with a barely clad, Annie Leibovitz-photographed Gisele Bundchen on the cover (good issue, ridiculous cover) so you may have to find the April issue with the pirate story, at your local library.

Subscribe to Robin Chapman News

Coast to Coast with Chai, Vanity Fair, and Trunki

Los Altos, California The bank of clouds drifted over the Coast Range from Half Moon Bay this morning into Los Altos Hills and a little bit of rain drizzled onto the streets of my hometown, Los Altos, California. This is the kind of day Californians sit home with a warm cup of Chai, whatever the heck that is. I think I'm going to have to try it, though, if I'm going to get my California visa renewed.

Looking at places to live here is interesting, to say the least. Everything is 2X as expensive as Central Florida and half the size. But I got an immediate example of how small a town Los Altos is when I went to look at a pretty little duplex and discovered the owner is a doctor who used to be our next door neighbor. I babysat for his daughters when I was in high school. I like his little place and may rent it since the bungalow I wanted to rent has already been snapped up.

This is my seventh Orlando-San Francisco round trip this year. Flying is so un-fun I've developed some strategies for surviving. I've discovered that Vanity Fair has some of the most interesting articles going these days--kind of an intellectual version of People--and it takes about five hours to read it cover-to-cover, just the time it takes to fly across the country.

So I got myself a copy yesterday morning and buried myself in it as we were waiting to board. Inside I found an excellent article about William and Pat Buckley (we lost him in 2008, just ten months after his wife); a funny piece by the beautiful and witty Maureen Dowd about the beautiful and witty Tina Fey (who looks leggy and gorgeous on the cover, I must say, in a photo by Annie Liebowitz); and a fascinating article about the con man who called himself Clark Rockefeller but was actually a middle class kid from--get this--Germany. (He's now also a murder suspect as well as in trouble for parental kidnapping). In fact there were so many good articles in this issue of Vanity Fair I almost didn't look up and thus just about missed seeing my first Trunki.





Always interested in new trends in handbags and luggage, I noticed a little boy in the security line with a small plastic suitcase-type thing with four wheels and a strap. He pulled it along behind him and when he reached the x-ray machines his parents opened it up and pulled out his backpack! It doubles as a suitcase and as a toy you can sit on and push-and-ride. What a cool thing! After I spotted my first Trunki (there is a umlaut-type thing over the "u" and the "n," to represent the handle of a suitcase I think, but I can't make that on my computer) I saw two more and then sat next to a child with another one. One family let me photograph theirs and told me you could find them at trunki.net. One of the most interesting things about traveling is spotting things like this. I'm now very pro-Trunki.

So I leave you now and the Internet cafe (actually called the Los Altos Bakery Cafe--they are nice and the Internet is free here, so I'll give them a plug) where I go On Line in my hometown, and off I go to look at more ridiculously expensive places to live. But I am light of heart. Somebody out there has a warm cup of Chai waiting for me, I just know it, and one day somebody is going to get me my very own, adult-sized, Trunki.

Subscribe to Robin Chapman News